Today I sat outside in my patio, occasionally staring out into the canal that runs behind my house, just passed the white picket fence, while reading a new book and enjoying the company of my goofy pup. The cool fall breeze rustling the leaves in the yard and cooling me off when the sun got too warm.
The new book is called Daring Greatly. I feel like it was written for me because I constantly struggle with being vulnerable. This post was SO hard for me to decide to share.
I've always associated vulnerability with weakness. Swallowing my emotions and shoving them deep down is my way of coping and keeping friends and family at arms length has become second-nature.
And yet, I long for human connection.
Daring Greatly has helped shift my perspective. It's the vulnerable people - the ones that open themselves up to hurt by putting themselves out there - that are the courageous ones. The ones that risk losing, betrayal, and disagreements.
My unwillingness to be vulnerable doesn't make me strong.
There's a fear in me and in most of us, that when we put our real selves out there, that self won't be enough. That self won't get likes, shares, comments - because that's the modern measure of our worth.
For so long I've struggled with sharing myself - my real self. My messy, imperfect, silly, and super-sensitive self.
That's not for me anymore. I want to live and love wholeheartedly.
So for my first #fridayintroductions here is me, being messy and real. Wind-blown hair, wrangling a babe while trying to get the dog to sit, all with an amused smile on my face for the husband who suddenly found himself with a camera in his hands.
Most days, you can find me at home, either surfing the internet for new things to learn, editing, reading, or entertaining one of my two little ones. I can easily eat way more than just two slices of extra cheese pizza. I'm obsessed with the beach, but as soon as I step on anything slimy, I turn into that screaming person running out of the water that has everyone looking for sharks.
My husband is my best friend and the love of my life. We spend our days snuggling, laughing at fart jokes, unbelieving of how lucky we are to have such cool kids, but missing our families and wishing we could be closer to them.
Do you struggle with being vulnerable? I wish you, we, wouldn't. Who knows what we're missing out on. I'm determined to find out. ❤️